So… my writing has been lacking recently and I think it’s to do with just living mundanely. I haven’t had a holiday since the middle of last year when I went to the Whitsundays, and I am feeling that travel bug crawling up my leg again.
I don’t know if it’s the boring circumstances of my life right now; unemployment, watching too much TV, or the only thing mildly impressive being the degree of sunburn I got recently all over my body. Or the need to escape Australia and find myself in another country. But I think it has a lot to do with everything.
This season of my life has been a bit of a let down. I have a non-existent social life, no job any more, I am confused about what job path I should go down, and I have lost my sense of adventure, and am now instead watching re-runs of How I met your Mother and wishing I could travel to New York (there it is again, that travel bug).
Among this list of disappointing circumstances, my motivation to write has dwindled and I find myself scared to even open up my word document on the laptop, for fear that I will find too many sentences to criticise and feel even worse about myself, saying things like ‘Oh this is crap‘, or ‘They will never publish this rubbish‘. Because it is super hard to write something that is meant to be inspiring, when your life feels the exact opposite.
So, what did I do? I went to the flight centre a few days ago and booked a return ticket to Bali to hopefully kick-start my life again.
Because as soon as I did, I had two reactions to this momentous occasion;
One: I felt like my heart would explode out of my body at the realisation that I was going to accomplish visiting one of the travel destinations on my bucket list. The excitement, the energy, and the visions of myself hiking up South-East Asian mountains, and lazing by the pool made me swoon.
Two: I had a minor heart palpitation thinking, Oh crap, I’ve just spent my entire last pay on these tickets and now I have to figure out how to pay for everything else within the next two months without a job. Oh God, please help me!
But regardless, I felt like I owed it to myself to go overseas again and breathe in life again! I could even be like that Julia Roberts chick in Eat, Pray, Love who found herself again, or more recently, some British girl who sold her house, and car, quit her job, and travelled the world, blogging about it after she was jilted at her wedding. Okay… that is like the dream people. Forget heart-break, you need a one way ticket to Thailand.
Being an introverted person, who writes and reads more than she socialises, it can be a very lonely road some days, and I have lost touch with the world.
In saying that, I have focused most of my energies on work, and getting money lately, beating myself up trying to figure out what my new career move is, that I have neglected really living an adventurous life that a 23 year old should be living.
I am hoping that some of Bali’s magic rubs off on me long enough so that I get off the plane a different person, and one who has the will to go back to writing again.
I remember a University lecturer once telling me that the secret to writing essays was to give your essay a break and go and do something fun, so that you can come back to the essay later and you will feel more confident with your wording to finish it.
You know what? It worked!
I feel like the same theory can be applied to this situation. I need to jump on that plane, take-off, and land in a completely foreign country to get my creative juices flowing. Drastic I know, but my creativity glass has been half empty for a long time.
So to all you fellow writers out there who are struggling too, or even those who feel like their lives are losing the spark, I suggest an overseas trip if you can afford it. Maybe a new scenery is just what you need to combat those crappy feelings!